These are wise words indeed:

To be good, whiskey has to be named after a dude. Jim Beam and Jack Daniels are perennial favorites; Evan Williams is a dark horse; George Dickel is my favorite. Preferably a number will be involved as well. No. 8. For example. The label should read like a secret Masonic world government, just like the back of a one dollar bill, Dr. Bronner’s soap, or anything else cool. If you understand any of it, do not swallow the liquid inside.